Exercises in Futility - Appparently my favorite kind of exercise.

     Exercise isn't always physical. I generally think of it that way, mostly because I seem to think it's my least favorites type of exercise.  

     It can be:
         Performance of duties.
         Active use or operation.
         Activity for training or developing the body or mind; especially body exertion
         especially  for the sake of health.  (yeah I want flat abs so I look healthy).
         A problem or task to be worked out to develop some technical skill.
         To exert or have influence.

     Futile is defined as:
         Serving no useful purpose. Useless.

     I'm glad that was short and straight to the point.

     I wonder who put those two words together. They make a great team. Now that I'm thinking about it, it sounds very much like the common definition of crazy.  Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

     In any event, I was getting frustrated since I've been trying to redo my office for 6 weeks and things have not been going smoothly. Mind you, the only actual physical work was having the room painted. It's not like I have a contractor and I'm changing walls and redoing the wiring.  Although I am thinking about putting in some overhead lights over the desks. Ah. Desks.
    A year ago I saw a desk on line that I fell in love with.  It's an old fashioned, tall architects desk.

This was what the room looked like when the desk arrived. We opened it and it was damaged.

That's it. I ordered it on /8/25. It got here on 9/4 and was picked up on 9/22.   In the meantime, I have ordered it from the same company, 4 times. At least so far I've only had to pay once.

      You may ask "why"?  If you have had experience with customer service, and I hate to say it, but these were all Americans from the Midwest, you don't need an answer.
       The room is being built around the desk. It is the last piece of furniture I will get, though it was the first I ordered. Two bookcase/cabinets were ordered. The first, they let me know after four days that it was discontinued and not in stock. Find another one. I did. That too was not in stock and maybe being discontinued. They didn't tell me. When I checked my account, it was pending shipping. Forever. So I called. Then I found out. Actually, it was the wrong color, but they managed to find the last one and put it in the shipment with the desk. I cancelled the cabinet because it was the wrong color, so they cancelled the desk because it was the wrong color. Again. I wasn't told.
   
   This is when I believe I realized that I was engaged in an exercise in futility. Hours on the phone. Emails to the supplier, seller and shipper, and still, no desk.
    Yet I persist. I now have dates for the three things I have ordered and am basically terrified. I don't want to put those vibes out because I believe you get what you send out. So, I'm praying that they all arrive undamaged.

  This was not going to be about this particular problem. I have engaged in many exercises in futility during the course of my life.
   When I was younger, it was trying to get the guy who didn't want me. I think that it brave to admit.

    So, is there a way to know before you start something that it is in fact, an exercise in futility? I believe so. You can ask yourself if this feels familiar. It can be something totally different in its action, but does the feeling feel comfortable? Ask about your expectations? Do you really think the outcome will be what you are expecting? Or is the outcome something you are hoping for?  There is a difference.

    I must be getting something from it if I keep doing it over and over. Do I really want to get this? Do I really deserve this?
    Theory. We do these things because we haven't broken an old pattern. Usually it's not a healthy one, but that never stopped us before.  As kids, lots of our exercises were futile. We were little and our parents dictated the outcome. We may have taken this in to mean that we weren't good enough to get what we wanted or our parents may have flat out said so. And we believed them. And somewhere deep inside, still do.
  
    Want to break the pattern?  Tell those old voices in your head (if you are hearing real voices seek psychiatric help asap) that they are wrong. You deserve to have your exercises or endeavors turn out well. The only thing that is futile is not changing what you can.




    And when all the furniture has arrived, and the room is set up. I'll blog a picture of it so we can all see that it was only an old pattern that brought up the thought, and it was wrong.

 

P.S.

 

thanks for caring and sharing this with others. I have to remember that things do work out. As you can see, I got the desk and the other things I wanted. I believe that the Universe gave me a gift for my trouble.

Notice the bookshelves?  Same maker, different supplier. First one came in damaged. This was at least usable until they could get me a new one. The maker never contacted me and I'm sure that it would have been more costly to ship it back cross country, so guess what. I now have two, which I couldn't have afforded but look how great they look.

 

New theory: Don't get yourself crazy, if you can stop those feelings, do. Things work out and the old crisis blends into the new one. It's your choice to decide whether or not your need crises in your lives.

I'm thinking you don't,